In a manner of reflection, and most likely the aspects of understanding one’s self as you get older, I had in recent years thought about what it was I would want to pass on to the next generation, perhaps a son or daughter of mine in a collection of writing that I would title “A Letter to the General’s Daughter“.
Why I chose that title I’m not exactly sure. Why I thought I would have a daughter specifically, I’m also not exactly sure.
I have instead collected these thoughts and a mere form of creative writing, and instead thought about some critical the things that I have wrestled to figure out in my own lifetime to pass on to my younger self.
At least for now. Should the opportunity of fatherhood ever present itself in all its Glory, at least I will have a head start in writing the book.
- You’re going to spend most of your life explaining things to people who cannot see things the way you do. You see a fully restored floor room model vehicle in perfect condition, ready to take a test drive. They can only see an empty field. There’s no changing their perception of reality. As the saying goes, you can only see what you couldn’t when it’s gone. This will probably be true for your perception and narrative, but especially for your work and work ethic.
- People are going to waste your time. Learn to accept that. Spend the time and the effort on the people who give you the least amount of stress in your life and support you the most in your direction and goals in life. If they cannot remember your birthday or wish you a Merry Christmas, chances are they are probably the latter.
- People in general are going to let you down. Celebrities are no different from family members. We are all human. but from this, filter what that person is to you and what they stand for idealistically in your life, from the human being that grows weak and weary, tired and old, who makes wrong decisions and is emotionally impulsive. Only then can you truly detect the true cadence of their meaning and existence.
- You are going to look up to a lot of people that you shouldn’t. Having solid mentors is imperative and important. Just know that you have so many other people that look up to you in the process so try to be mindful and careful what you say to them. It’s going to make all the difference when you’re gone.
- Try to shut up more. If you don’t understand why, see the first point on this list.
- You are going to miss certain family members more than others and that’s not going to change. Just know that family is not just blood-related, despite those who made turn their back on you. Many people you will just learn to love from a distance. Whether they love you back is another story. I don’t have the answers to that yet. I’m the older You, not a fortune teller.
- Appreciate your parents regardless of what they have said or done to you in your life. They’re not perfect people but at least you’re alive at whatever point in time that you’re reading this. They didn’t give you the best life because they didn’t have the options to do so, but they gave you the uncanny ability to survive despite the circumstances you may find yourself in. Just realize at the end of the day that they are human beings to and just as confused as you are as to what the right thing is to do. There is no book in parenting that explains the perfect way of doing things.
- We don’t grow up, we just get tired of arguing and grow older.
- If you see drama, stay away from it. The more you think you can help somebody, the further drawn into their story you become and carry their baggage unwillingly. Even Superheroes have weaknesses.
- Any relationship you find yourself unhappy in, walk away from them.
- Romantic relationships that do not work out are meant to be broken if they don’t. Don’t be a douche and walk away for a stupid reason, but once a cheater always a cheater. If she says I Love you within 2 weeks of knowing you or 8 months pregnant and its not yours, dude, c’mon. Take a walk. Any woman who wants to mess up your hair with gel in it is not a woman worth dating. Thank me later.
- Professionally, your boss will always tell you what you wanted to hear but remember he or she is speaking from an interest based on the business needs of a company.
- Religiously, if a Preacher can only preach, it means he usually likes to hear his own voice and has a hard time listening. Take your cues accordingly.
- You’re going to be homeless for a while. Be careful. Sleeping on the subway is not as bad as it sounds. Sleeping in storage units isn’t the best, and living out of your car is an inevitability. Please, know that the end justifies the means. And get a sub-zero sleeping bag as soon as possible.
- Keep on cooking when and where you can. You cannot understand how much happiness your breakfasts, dinners and sauces make people when they taste them.
- You finally end up having the ability of having any color envelope that you desire. The catch? You now make them yourself. I know crazy right?
- Kennen is still ridiculously loud and Justin finally gets married. Unfortunately you realize you guys are not best friends and no longer speak after the wedding.
- Everyone that knows you will compare you to your Father. Just know that Kovu was not Scar, even though he’s the spitting image. Be better than someone who can’t keep their family together and respect their sons.
- Those pains in your stomach that have you doubled over at night are not normal. They are part of a gluten intolerance, or Celiac’s Disease. You’re going to find out the hard way what it is for the next 10 years. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you sooner.
- There are going to be promises that you are going to breaks, deadlines that you are going to miss, and people you are going to lose. There is nothing you can do about it. Its a part of life. Just take it in stride. You may see them again, or they may be your bosses best friend, so try to leave things on good terms. If not, you tried.
- Your resume is never going to make sense in a traditional company world. Taking design contracts will do that. Have fun with those interviews in the process because they’re not going to hire you anyway.
- You too walk around with a portable spotlight just like your father. You call it the Light of Righteousness.
- Most of the time you are going to spend waiting a lot longer than you anticipate to get things done or to make things happen. Just try to make the best of it. Things just take forever.
- Tell your popping pimple on your ex-girlfriend story that cheated on you as much as possible. The laughter that you get from it helps heal the pain from that circumstance.
- School’s not going to be an option for you, but learn as much as you can from those who are willing to teach, especially within the industry.
- Keep on holding open doors regardless of who it is for, and respond to all that you can with yes sir or yes ma’am regardless as to how young or old that individual may be. It’s a sign of respect and that person appreciates it, if not then later on in their life. Unless it was that guy Felix. Feel free to call him a ma’am. He doesn’t appreciate respect.
- Know that I am proud of you, understand you, appreciate you, I’m glad you are around and in my life, and that I love you very much. You will never hear those words anywhere near the amount that you need to hear them, so hear them from me, the person that matters most. I’m proud of you no matter what happens. Just do the right thing.